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I used to believe that everything happens for a reason. Lately though I cant seem to find any reason to what’s happening in my life whatsoever.

I’d be a liar if I said I was fine. I remember few years back when I was exactly like this, loner, unhappy, insecure and lost.  Its terrifying to wake up one day and realize you’re a teenager, for the second time perhaps. The one thing I want to remember though is; how was I able to get back on my feet again and become the memorable me I was once before.

Friendship. Apparently is harder than I thought it was. They say marriage needs hard work in order to achieve fulfillness and satisfaction. It was only recently I found out that every friendship needs the same effort in order to continue in the right road of friendship. I cant count how many good friends I lost within just few months. 

What is life with no friends? I couldn’t imagine my life without them but unfortunately they’re decreasing day by day. I cant say its their fault nor mine. Life I guess forced us to drift apart.

There’s probably one thing I’ve learned in a person having a career; real friends will be there still when your too busy with work. The rest weren’t meant to be in your life at all.

Did you ever wake up one day and couldn’t recognize yourself anymore? I did. It was a bit like a wake up call; I kept thinking to myself why is this happening to me. Who am I and what do I want from life. It was the most horrifying feeling one could ever go through.

Time made me realize why something like this would happen. Each individual has his or her own standards in life, those standers and rules you put to self are defining you. Therefore, if you ever stopped having your own beliefs or ignored your demands, you will be lost.

Gibran Khalil once said “only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.”

I am an empty person; I am lost to the very core of self, and I am no where near to be balanced nor standstill. I cannot explain further how this happened but, I lost myself somewhere in search of self. And I can’t find my way back, what’s worse is that the only people that might be capable of pulling me back to the positive living aren’t there.

I got attached to the wrong people.